Does Transition To Parenthood Lessen Happiness?

Many women with young kids often complain that motherhood involves just “too many chores.” Many men also feel that when parenthood interferes with romance thus they feel neglected by their wives. A lot of people say that becoming a parent lessens happiness. How much truth do these statements hold?

In the first place, we may be answering the wrong question. We should not be asking how much happiness children bring, rather, we should ask about the quality of the happiness. Social philosophers repeatedly educate us that having a good life is not all about getting satisfaction out of life as much as possible. On the contrary, having a good life actually entails involvement with those closest to us — going beyond our self-centeredness to contribute to a greater good. In spite of the challenges that this act has, it is still the major source of real and lasting happiness.

We will never be a complete person unless we go out of our way to bond with others and involve ourselves beyond our own bubble. “Others” can include your spouse, siblings, parents, and friends. Children, on the other hand, provide a unique other. At first, they are dependent on their parents, but later they become independent but still remain linked. They enable parents to unveil a unique personal relationship to the full extent.

Psychologist Martin Seligman says, “Happiness is best defined in the ancient Greek sense: leading a productive, purposeful life. And the way we take stock of that life, in the end, isn’t by how much fun we had, but what we did with it.”

Of course, we as parents admit that we are often pushed to our limit with the tasking challenges of changing diapers, accompanying kids to the ER when they need stitches, dealing with the aftermath of a car that your teen crashed, waiting and worrying when they stay out too late, and listening to the doctor explain your child’s serious diagnosis.

But all these are nothing compared to the feeling that parents have to deal with when they lose a child — an unfortunate fate that some parents are destined to have. Still, children are the greatest source of contentment in our lives. Children provide tons and tons of happiness and sadness and meaning. And that happiness is all the more multiplied when they give us a whole batch of grandchildren!

Do you agree that having kids does not make you less happy? Tell us how your kids bring you great joy in your life and how you surmounted the challenges of parenting!

Image: Parenting Pink

The Truth About Dating Younger Men

There a lot of things to think about when it comes to dating outside your decade. Herewith, the good, the bad and the ugly of dating young:

The good
Dating someone younger keeps you young, says Jane Ganahl, former singles columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle. Plus, there’s that whole sexual-compatibility thing. “If we can believe that nugget that women and men hit their sexual primes at different times, then a 25-year-old man and a 40-year-old woman is the best of all possible worlds,” she says.

The bad

A lack of life experience can be both a blessing and a curse, though. On the one hand, it means your date’s baggage compartment is more likely to be free of ex-wives and kids. On the other, they may still be on close terms with their inner child, a laundry-impaired brat who can’t get enough of video games and/or Family Guy.

The ugly

None of us dates in a vacuum, of course, and remarks by friends and family can have a souring influence on even the sweetest May/December romance. Men have to deal with “vicious” comments, too. And then there’s that whole cougar thing. And let’s not forget nature’s cruelty.

“At the end of the day, the 30-year-old I was dating really wanted to get married and have kids, and I wasn’t interested in that,” says Ganahl, who documented this and other relationships in her memoir, Naked on the Page. “I already had a daughter in college. So that’s another downside. You can’t really ‘work on’ the fact that you’re older.”

The big picture

Dating someone older has its challenges, too. Men raised in a more traditional era can be controlling and/or unwilling to accept independent behavior. And society makes certain assumptions about the older man/younger woman match, too. But despite the issues, there are couples that make it, says Sarah, a 36-year-old reporter from Seattle who’s been married to a man 10 years her junior for the last four years.

Readers, it’s your time to speak out! Do you think relationships between two persons from different generations can actually last? Shout out your thoughts below!

Source: Yahoo News

Image: Single Minded Women