Two Words Guys Should Never Say To A Woman

Two Words Guys Should Never Say To A Woman“Calm down.”  On the surface, they seem harmless enough. Problem is, when a woman hears these two words from a man, the effects are anything but conciliatory.

‘Epic proportions’

“Men are generally conditioned to take control in a heightened situation so when woman is upset, they may reach for the phrase ‘calm down’ in an effort to pacify her without realizing that they’re making a bad situation worse,” says Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D., a New York City based licensed marriage and family therapist.

Let’s say you’re peeved because he invited his buddy (who you can’t stand) to dinner when you assumed it was date night or you’re having a heated discussion about that on-going relationship issue that never dies. He says, “calm down” but what you hear is: “You’re being irrational.”

Yes, you’re angry. That’s clear, so telling you in not-so-many-words that you’re angry won’t do much to resolve an argument. And if you’re not (that) upset to begin with? Well, he just elevated the argument to epic proportions.


‘Classic projection’

Some guys use the phrase to genuinely try to diffuse an argument but others store it as a manipulation tactic, a form of reverse psychology when they’re feeling powerless, says Hokemeyer, who calls the move classic projection; if a man feels angry and out of control, he’ll tell the woman that she is angry and out of control. When she predictably responds by becoming more agitated, his own emotions are justified. It’s full circle frustration—and not a fair fight.

So if your guy whips out this phrase in the heat of the moment, what should you do? Hokemeyer has a surprising solution: Simply agree with him.

“Calmly respond by saying something like, ‘Yes, I am upset and my feelings are valid,'” he says.

Then suggest parting ways to cool off and call a friend to vent or go for a run or walk.

Do you agree with this article? How do you diffuse a heated argument with your partner?

Source: Elise Sole, Yahoo Shine

Image: Oprah

Man Claiming To Be Pastor Leaves Snarky Tip For Waiter

Man Claiming To Be Pastor Leaves Snarky Tip For WaiterA man claiming to be a pastor apparently tried to stiff a waiter on a tip, explaining that his work for God absolved him of having to leave one.

‘I give God 10%’

A photo of the receipt, posted to Reddit.com, shows a bill for $34.93 that included an automatic 18 percent gratuity ($6.29) above a blank space for an additional tip.

“I give God 10%,” the diner wrote on the receipt, scratching out the automatic tip. “Why do you get 18?” He then wrote “Pastor” above his signature, and an emphatic “0” where the additional tip would be.

The Reddit user who submitted the image explained in the comments section that the receipt was part of a total bill for a party of 20, which is why the gratuity was automatically added.


‘Just didn’t want to pay’

“Parties up to eight … may tip whatever they’d like, but larger parties receive an automatic gratuity,” the server wrote. “It’s in the computer, it’s not something I do… They had no problem with my service, and told me I was great. They just didn’t want to pay when the time came.”

Scribbling notes on receipts has become something of a trend. Earlier this month, the manager of a North Carolina Red Robin surprised an overdue pregnant woman by comping her meal.

Have you ever done this before? Tell us about the best tip you’ve ever given to your waiter!

Source: Dylan Stableford, Yahoo News

Image: AOL Jobs