We’re texting more than ever, and, like society, the texts themselves are getting worse and worse. Read on to learn just how terrible silent cell phone users are these days, and the five texts that should never traverse that satellite-banked arc from your hands to the eyes of another.
1. “I think we should see other people.”
Yes, breaking up is hard. But shooting over a one-way missive to deliver the news for you? It’s supremely cruel, because it leaves the other person cocking his or her head withFred Willard-esque histrionics and asking, “Hey, wha’ happened?” If you went on enough dates to call this person your boyfriend or girlfriend, he or she deserves at least a call.
2. “Will you marry me?”
Can we please consider marriage proposals one of the few remaining bastions of old-fashioned romance, free from the lackadaisical pall that technology has cast over everything? Unless you’ve rigged some clever feat that ties in the nerdy way you met, your phone should be put away, your knee should be on the pavement, and your hands should be clutching a ring, not picking a ringtone.
3. “We’re thinking about going to Shortstop later but Aiden is still napping & Mona was talking abt having ppl over for a cookout. IDK if I want to be out in the heat tho since I’m still hungo from Bosco’s pirate party thing last night. Are you and Weeds still… [1 of 2]“
4. “…wandering around the park or did you want to do something later? Hit me up if you see this before 10. Gonna go pass out for a while. [2 of 2]“
Our rule of (red, raw, overused) thumb: If your text is longer than two sentences and it demands a response other than a simple yes or no, just hit Call. You’ll save everyone a little time and a lot of confusion.
5. [a photo of your junk]
Leave something to the imagination, folks.
Were you amused or annoyed with this post? Are you doing any of these things? Tell us what other things should never be sent via text!
Image: Mobiles Korner